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Wednesday, October 13th, 2004 01:06 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
evila_elfWell, I got to write a little bit more on the untitled fic....3 more paragraphs. Not much, but here ya go :)
Oh, and the fic is no longer untitled. Don't ask where the name came from...just a combination of the first word and what I was gonna name this until I came up with one....and, for convience, I'll give yas the first bit again.
Thx again to all of ya who commented yesterday :)
Dogtag Dawn
Dawn broke, and with it terrible news. Radar, feeling a sense of déjà vu, entered the mess tent. Everyone paused in mid-bite and looked over at the corporal. His eyes were red, his face tear streaked. Potter rushed over to him and steadied the boy so he could blindly sit down at the bench. He thrust an envelope at the Commander.
Confused and dreading what he might find, Potter shook the contents out into his hand. The dogtags, sliver flecked with red, shined dully from the outside light. Pierce, B.F. Captain. “Radar?” Potter whispered.
“I called the station,” Radar hiccuped. “The body arrived 2 hours after they left the station—hardly anything left.” Once his message was delivered, he broke down into silent sobs.
The words, though quiet, echoed through out the mess. Klinger was the first to move, to take action. Slowly, he approached Radar and started to lead him from the mess tent
“Radar--”
The corporal turned at the doorway and faced Colonel Potter. “BJ’s didn’t show up…”
“I’ll try to find out where he is,” Klinger spoke the words before Potter could ask.
***
The bomb burst, throwing clumps of dirt and dust into the air, obscuring vision and making breathing painful. A lone figure, neither boy, nor soldier, nor Korean stumbled away from the battlefield. His face was dark where smoke mixed with sweat, his whole body felt like one big bruise, but he was alive…
He had no idea where his best friend had gone or what had happened. With a groan, he collapsed. His head throbbed in time with his rapid pulse. Struggling, the man regained his feet. One foot in front of the other. Walking seemed important, away from the noise and death. He ran…had to get away…
The sounds had long since faded before he tripped and fell to his knees again. Dazed, he watched the trees fade in and out as he slowly blinked…his world dimmed, then went black.
***
The sharp click of a rifle woke him with a start. The barrel of the rifle, complete with bayonet, came into view. He followed the barrel to small hands, then a face, a Korean face…a Korean woman’s face. A sharp command in Korean made him quickly stop staring and get his hands in the air…
TBC
Oh, out of curiosity, any guesses on what is gonna happen?
Next time I post more, I will try to have...more :P
Part 2
Oh, and the fic is no longer untitled. Don't ask where the name came from...just a combination of the first word and what I was gonna name this until I came up with one....and, for convience, I'll give yas the first bit again.
Thx again to all of ya who commented yesterday :)
Dogtag Dawn
Dawn broke, and with it terrible news. Radar, feeling a sense of déjà vu, entered the mess tent. Everyone paused in mid-bite and looked over at the corporal. His eyes were red, his face tear streaked. Potter rushed over to him and steadied the boy so he could blindly sit down at the bench. He thrust an envelope at the Commander.
Confused and dreading what he might find, Potter shook the contents out into his hand. The dogtags, sliver flecked with red, shined dully from the outside light. Pierce, B.F. Captain. “Radar?” Potter whispered.
“I called the station,” Radar hiccuped. “The body arrived 2 hours after they left the station—hardly anything left.” Once his message was delivered, he broke down into silent sobs.
The words, though quiet, echoed through out the mess. Klinger was the first to move, to take action. Slowly, he approached Radar and started to lead him from the mess tent
“Radar--”
The corporal turned at the doorway and faced Colonel Potter. “BJ’s didn’t show up…”
“I’ll try to find out where he is,” Klinger spoke the words before Potter could ask.
***
The bomb burst, throwing clumps of dirt and dust into the air, obscuring vision and making breathing painful. A lone figure, neither boy, nor soldier, nor Korean stumbled away from the battlefield. His face was dark where smoke mixed with sweat, his whole body felt like one big bruise, but he was alive…
He had no idea where his best friend had gone or what had happened. With a groan, he collapsed. His head throbbed in time with his rapid pulse. Struggling, the man regained his feet. One foot in front of the other. Walking seemed important, away from the noise and death. He ran…had to get away…
The sounds had long since faded before he tripped and fell to his knees again. Dazed, he watched the trees fade in and out as he slowly blinked…his world dimmed, then went black.
***
The sharp click of a rifle woke him with a start. The barrel of the rifle, complete with bayonet, came into view. He followed the barrel to small hands, then a face, a Korean face…a Korean woman’s face. A sharp command in Korean made him quickly stop staring and get his hands in the air…
TBC
Oh, out of curiosity, any guesses on what is gonna happen?
Next time I post more, I will try to have...more :P
Part 2
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Date: 2004-10-13 02:58 am (UTC)This is great stuff, as usual :)
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Date: 2004-10-13 12:29 pm (UTC)Glad ya like :) I'm sitting here giggling to myself as the ideas come to me.
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Date: 2004-10-13 04:10 am (UTC)Great job.
Farewell.
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Date: 2004-10-13 12:30 pm (UTC)The writing of this is quite entertaining for me. Much different when I write stuff straight from the computer, less editing and I can post as I go.
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Date: 2004-10-13 01:00 pm (UTC)Poor whoever. *beseeches Korean lady* Don't hurt him! We'd like him back in one piece, and the gun doesn't reassure us that that's going to happen...
Not much else to say...three paragraphs isn't much to comment upon unless it's a drabble. *hinty hinty*
Toodles.
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Date: 2004-10-13 09:42 pm (UTC)So far, the fic has about doubled in size...though it was never really that long to start with :) I will post most of that later.
Stay tuned :)
And, it may be a bit until your question is answered..I haven't decided yet...on when to tell, that is. :P