(no subject)

[evila_elf]

First...why is my update page automatically loading as the rich text editor?? It's going to make me lazy and forget my html skillz!

Some e-mail forwards are hilarious!!  Here is another one! (sorry about the caps, I don't want to retype it)

PAY SPECIAL ATTENTION TO THE WORDING AND SPELLING. IF YOU KNOW THE BIBLE
EVEN A LITTLE, YOU'LL FIND THIS HILARIOUS! IT COMES FROM A CATHOLIC
ELEMENTARY SCHOOL TEST. KIDS WERE ASKED QUESTIONS ABOUT THE OLD AND NEW
TESTAMENTS. THE FOLLOWING STATEMENTS ABOUT THE BIBLE WERE WRITTEN BY
CHILDREN. THEY HAVE NOT BEEN RETOUCHED OR CORRECTED. INCORRECT SPELLING HAS
BEEN LEFT IN.


1. IN THE FIRST BOOK OF THE BIBLE, GUINESSIS. GOD GOT TIRED OF CREATING THE
WORLD SO HE TOOK THE SABBATH OFF.

2. ADAM AND EVE WERE CREATED FROM AN APPLE TREE. NOAH'S WIFE WAS JOAN OF
ARK. NOAH BUILT AND ARK AND THE ANIMALS CAME ON IN PEARS.

3. LOTS WIFE WAS A PILLAR OF SALT DURING THE DAY, BUT A BALL OF FIRE DURING
THE NIGHT.

4. THE JEWS WERE A PROUD PEOPLE AND THROUGHOUT HISTORY THEY HAD TROUBLE WITH
UNSYMPATHETIC GENITALS.

5. SAMPSON WAS A STRONGMAN WHO LET HIMSELF BE LED ASTRAY BY A JEZEBEL LIKE
DELILAH.

6. SAMSON SLAYED THE PHILISTINES WITH THE AXE OF THE APOSTLES.

7. MOSES LED THE JEWS TO THE RED SEA WHERE THEY MADE UNLEAVENED BREAD WHICH
IS BREAD WITHOUT ANY INGREDIENTS.

8, THE EGYPTIANS WERE ALL DROWNED IN THE DESSERT. AFTERWARDS, MOSES WENT UP
TO MOUNT CYANIDE TO GET THE TEN COMMANDMENTS. 

9. THE FIRST COMMANDMENTS WAS WHEN EVE TOLD ADAM TO EAT THE APPLE.

10. THE SEVENTH COMMANDMENT IS THOU SHALT NOT ADMIT ADULTERY.

11. MOSES DIED BEFORE HE EVER REACHED CANADA. THEN JOSHUA LED THE HEBREWS IN
THE BATTLE OF GERITOL.

12. THE GREATEST MIRICLE IN THE BIBLE IS WHEN JOSHUA TOLD HIS SON TO STAND
STILL AND HE OBEYED HIM.

13. DAVID WAS A HEBREW KING WHO WAS SKILLED AT PLAYING THE LIAR. HE FOUGHT
THE FINKELSTEINS, A RACE OF PEOPLE WHO LIVED IN BIBLICAL TIMES.

14. SOLOMON, ONE OF DAVIDS SONS, HAD 300 WIVES AND 700 PORCUPINES.

15. WHEN MARY HEARD SHE WAS THE MOTHER OF JESUS, SHE SANG THE MAGNA CARTA.

16. WHEN THE THREE WISE GUYS FROM THE EAST SIDE ARRIVED THEY FOUND JESUS IN
THE MANAGER.

17. JESUS WAS BORN BECAUSE MARY HAD AN IMMACULATE CONTRAPTION.

18. ST. JOHN THE BLACKSMITH DUMPED WATER ON HIS HEAD.

19. JESUS ENUNCIATED THE GOLDEN RULE, WHICH SAYS TO DO UNTO OTHERS BEFORE
THEY DO ONE TO YOU. HE ALSO EXPLAINED A MAN DOTH NOT LIVE BY SWEAT ALONE.

20. IT WAS A MIRICLE WHEN JESUS ROSE FROM THE DEAD AND MANAGED TO GET THE
TOMBSTONE OFF THE ENTRANCE.

21. THE PEOPLE WHO FOLLOWED THE LORD WERE CALLED THE 12 DECIBELS.

22. THE EPISTELS WERE THE WIVES OF THE APOSTLES.

23. ONE OF THE OPPOSSUMS WAS ST. MATTHEW WHO WAS ALSO A TAXIMAN.

24. ST. PAUL CAVORTED TO CHRISTIANITY, HE PREACHED HOLY ACRIMONY WHICH IS
ANOTHER NAME FOR MARRAIGE.

25. CHRISTIANS HAVE ONLY ONE SPOUSE. THIS IS CALLED MONOTONY.

Comments

[eviltux.livejournal.com]

Lucky duck. You get funny emails fowarded to you. The only emails i get fowarded to me are chain mails that lie. This is because my friends are extremely girly, which makes them extremely gullible, which makes them believe the lies that chain letters tell. Then I give them the facts as to why these are complete hoaxes and then they feel stupid and helped somebody and feel smart. I win and they lose. Infact, I got one of these emails today. You would not believe how gullible my friends are. I hate to insult them, but jeez, how could they believe something that's so obviously not true?

[eviltux.livejournal.com]

Oops, forgot to capitalize one of my I's.

[evila-elf.livejournal.com]

lol!!

Shame on you!!
:P

[evila-elf.livejournal.com]

Oh, I get my fair share of those...got one today that was a 'Those who are my real friends will send this back'
*Delete*

[chibicelchan.livejournal.com]

I haven't had that problem of the update page loading in Rich Text, but a lot of people have been complaining, so I worry I WILL BE NEXT!

And that is the funniest forward I've seen, possibly ever. Thank you for posting it, I needed a laugh today. :D

[eviltux.livejournal.com]

You still get the HTML editor? Lucky duck. I'm feeling very unlucky today. Now I can't post quiz results because the rich text thingy doesn't support HTML at all. I know, I've tried.

[chibicelchan.livejournal.com]

I don't understand that! Maybe you should email support and let them know, because, damn.

[ryttu3k.livejournal.com]

25. CHRISTIANS HAVE ONLY ONE SPOUSE. THIS IS CALLED MONOTONY.

I'll say.

Actually, that reminds me of a bit of dialogue from an Australian comedy show called Kath & Kim...

Kim: "...So we've decided what me and Brett [Kim's husband] want for the kitchen benchtops, we want solid monogamy."

Kath [Kim's mother]: "Oh, no, dear, solid monogamy is old-fashioned. What you want is just a VENEER of monogamy, and you can have whatever you want underneath it!"

Fantastic show ^_^ It also details Kim's eternal quest to be effluent...

[evila-elf.livejournal.com]

ROFLMAO!!

[ryttu3k.livejournal.com]

Kath & Kim is one of those shows that shows the stereotypes that happen to be true.

Unfortunately XD

[ropeadope-ie.livejournal.com]

a work of pure genius!