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Tuesday, December 7th, 2004 01:23 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
evila_elfOkay, been meaning to type this up, but have been lazy lately :P
Not too many spoilers:
First off, this has got to be the wierdest movie I have seen in my life. Even beating out Everyone Says I Love You.
Anyways, mini summary thingy=This guy called Iron Leg use to the world soccer champion. He missed a goal and had his leg broken by his team. Now he is a cripple...blah blah, enough summary.
Firstly, it seems no one in this movie has a name except the girl--Mui--and I don't feel like mentioning her again.
Oh, and if anyone is wondering what genre this falls under...I guess it is a martial arts meets soccer *shrugs*
Anyways, this iron leg guy (not really even sure if that is his name, come to think of it, so no quoting me :P) he meets this poor (litterally) young man and agrees to teach him soccer. (I was spacing, so details are fuzzy). The champions of this world soccer match get like a million bucks. So, all they need is a team. The young man searches for his brothers (named First, second, third, fourth, and sixth brother) to be his teammates.
The soccer sensai *giggle* begins to teach this guys who know nothing about the sport. The kid gets so excited that he immediately kicks the ball into the air. It disappears into the sky with a twinkle. They wait...and wait for it to come back down. and it does, several hours later.
One of the brothers is extremely fat--I mean really, really fat. The sensai takes away the raw eggs he was planning on eating and wants the kid (sinse he is the hero, I will just start calling him that to reduce confision--though I fear I am too late for that) to learn how to kick them without breaking the eggs. It immediately breaks on his shoe. The fat guy yells and falls to the ground to eat at the egg on hero's shoe (ewww). He is pulled away as he chews on a shoe string. The next egg tossed lands on hero's crotch!! A brief pause as everyone stares, then fatty charges--Eep!! Hero throws an egg at one of the other brothers, and it lands in his mouth! Fatty changes courses and tackles the poor guy. *snicker*
Moving on--First friendly game is anything but! The opposing team has tools hidden somewhere in their uniforms. Punches and kicks were flying, as well as people, while the ball lay forgotten on the ground. Our "hero"--snort--hid behind the unconscious fat brother. The he donned a helmet and crawled under the line of fire (yes, as in rifle fire), and under a barbed fence as he returned fire with an automatic gun. He radioed for help on a radio, and a helicopter started to arrive. Then the soccer sensai came into view. Now we see the hero laying on the ground with a stick in one hand and an old sneaker at his ear. Amused the Hell outta me!
One of the teammates surrender with his white shorts tied to a stick a la "white flag." One of the opponents stands in front of him, removes his pants, then his underwear, then demands that the underpants be warn on surrender-ees head 0.o
More wierdness follows, as well as flying, and flying shoes....
To advance to the finals, they have to beat these mustached and bearded girls *scary*
Well, no surprise, but they have somehow made it to the finals. To win gold cup and money, they need to beat team evil. Team Evil litterally kicks their asses due to cheating, drugs and buying off the refferees. Very nice intense situation in locker room with a pep talk. Immediately afterwards, one team member realizes that "he is a fireman" and runs off. Another remembers his wife is pregnant and he can hear her giving birth 0.o Now they are down to the minimum 8 players and can't lose anymore.
Don't want to give much more away, but one kick of the ball is so powerful that it tears up the field and rips all the goalie's clothes clean off--all of them. And I think it killed some people.
After all that wierdness..I'm trying to figure out why the Hell I liked this so much! Very entertaining once you get use to it and suspend belief in things like gravity.
Extra bonus...There were outtakes! Ahhhh!!! I love outtakes!!! Sadly, the outtakes weren't tacked on to the English version and the cool song in the Chinese version was replaced! Warning, if you see this film, see the Original Chinese version!!! American dubs and editing sucks!
One of the outtakes...this guy--one of the brothers--was sobbing, and he was supposed to sob, and grab onto hero's leg. That was all. In the outtake, he wails, and grabs hero by the waist and knocks him to the ground. Hero is trying to keep the scene going, but is doing all in his power to push the guy off of him as he sobs and *SOJ* I think that got the biggest laugh from me! Slashy!
Fingers are tired now.
I wonder if that convinced anyone to see the movie, or if it will keep people from seeing it...or if anyone even read all that!
Not too many spoilers:
First off, this has got to be the wierdest movie I have seen in my life. Even beating out Everyone Says I Love You.
Anyways, mini summary thingy=This guy called Iron Leg use to the world soccer champion. He missed a goal and had his leg broken by his team. Now he is a cripple...blah blah, enough summary.
Firstly, it seems no one in this movie has a name except the girl--Mui--and I don't feel like mentioning her again.
Oh, and if anyone is wondering what genre this falls under...I guess it is a martial arts meets soccer *shrugs*
Anyways, this iron leg guy (not really even sure if that is his name, come to think of it, so no quoting me :P) he meets this poor (litterally) young man and agrees to teach him soccer. (I was spacing, so details are fuzzy). The champions of this world soccer match get like a million bucks. So, all they need is a team. The young man searches for his brothers (named First, second, third, fourth, and sixth brother) to be his teammates.
The soccer sensai *giggle* begins to teach this guys who know nothing about the sport. The kid gets so excited that he immediately kicks the ball into the air. It disappears into the sky with a twinkle. They wait...and wait for it to come back down. and it does, several hours later.
One of the brothers is extremely fat--I mean really, really fat. The sensai takes away the raw eggs he was planning on eating and wants the kid (sinse he is the hero, I will just start calling him that to reduce confision--though I fear I am too late for that) to learn how to kick them without breaking the eggs. It immediately breaks on his shoe. The fat guy yells and falls to the ground to eat at the egg on hero's shoe (ewww). He is pulled away as he chews on a shoe string. The next egg tossed lands on hero's crotch!! A brief pause as everyone stares, then fatty charges--Eep!! Hero throws an egg at one of the other brothers, and it lands in his mouth! Fatty changes courses and tackles the poor guy. *snicker*
Moving on--First friendly game is anything but! The opposing team has tools hidden somewhere in their uniforms. Punches and kicks were flying, as well as people, while the ball lay forgotten on the ground. Our "hero"--snort--hid behind the unconscious fat brother. The he donned a helmet and crawled under the line of fire (yes, as in rifle fire), and under a barbed fence as he returned fire with an automatic gun. He radioed for help on a radio, and a helicopter started to arrive. Then the soccer sensai came into view. Now we see the hero laying on the ground with a stick in one hand and an old sneaker at his ear. Amused the Hell outta me!
One of the teammates surrender with his white shorts tied to a stick a la "white flag." One of the opponents stands in front of him, removes his pants, then his underwear, then demands that the underpants be warn on surrender-ees head 0.o
More wierdness follows, as well as flying, and flying shoes....
To advance to the finals, they have to beat these mustached and bearded girls *scary*
Well, no surprise, but they have somehow made it to the finals. To win gold cup and money, they need to beat team evil. Team Evil litterally kicks their asses due to cheating, drugs and buying off the refferees. Very nice intense situation in locker room with a pep talk. Immediately afterwards, one team member realizes that "he is a fireman" and runs off. Another remembers his wife is pregnant and he can hear her giving birth 0.o Now they are down to the minimum 8 players and can't lose anymore.
Don't want to give much more away, but one kick of the ball is so powerful that it tears up the field and rips all the goalie's clothes clean off--all of them. And I think it killed some people.
After all that wierdness..I'm trying to figure out why the Hell I liked this so much! Very entertaining once you get use to it and suspend belief in things like gravity.
Extra bonus...There were outtakes! Ahhhh!!! I love outtakes!!! Sadly, the outtakes weren't tacked on to the English version and the cool song in the Chinese version was replaced! Warning, if you see this film, see the Original Chinese version!!! American dubs and editing sucks!
One of the outtakes...this guy--one of the brothers--was sobbing, and he was supposed to sob, and grab onto hero's leg. That was all. In the outtake, he wails, and grabs hero by the waist and knocks him to the ground. Hero is trying to keep the scene going, but is doing all in his power to push the guy off of him as he sobs and *SOJ* I think that got the biggest laugh from me! Slashy!
Fingers are tired now.
I wonder if that convinced anyone to see the movie, or if it will keep people from seeing it...or if anyone even read all that!
